Wake up, new Pokémon just dropped

Today’s “Pokémon Presents” livestream wasn’t as chock-full of news as previous announcements about the upcoming Nintendo Switch games “Pokémon Scarlet & Violet.” Last time, we learned that the generation 9 games will be the iconic franchise’s first real attempt at an open world RPG (“Legends Arceus” doesn’t count), and will also feature a multi-player co-op mode.

But so far, the new Pokémon announced for the Paldea region — based off of the Iberian peninsula — just do not miss. Remember Lechonk? Remember Quaxly, which looks like a DALL-E recreation of Donald Duck?

We learned today that Pokémon can now “terastallize” — or, turn into Swarovski crystal-like versions of themselves — but what’s more exciting is this guy. Fidough. A fairy puppy who helps you cook. Excuse me?

Image Credits: The Pokémon Company

Get a load of Fidough’s Pokédex entry:

Fidough’s skin has elastic qualities and is both firm and soft at the same time. When these Pokémon become excited, they intimidate their opponents by puffing up their bodies to appear bigger. Fidough ferments things in its vicinity using the yeast in its breath. The yeast is useful for cooking, so this Pokémon has been protected by people since long ago.

Yes, this new friend can help you brew kombucha. And it can also fight battles for you. Great stuff, all around.

The only other new Pokémon we learned about is Cetitan, a “Tera Whale Pokémon” that lives in the snowy region of Paldea. Cetitan isn’t quite as exciting as Fidough, but we’ll give him a chance. Look how weird its mouth is!

Cetitan’s description reads:

Cetitan need to have tough muscles to be able to support their immense bodies, and physical attacks using their bodies have incredible power. They also migrate around the snowy regions, protected by a thick layer of fat.

Image Credits: The Pokémon Company

Finally, the livestream confirmed that like the Alola, Galar, and Hisui regions, the Paldea region will feature variants of previously-discovered Pokémon.

The first new variant is Paldean Wooper, which… Honestly, I’m undecided whether this delights or horrifies me. It’s compelling, at the very least.

Image Credits: The Pokémon Company

Our formerly bright blue, boisterous buddy now looks like it rolled in a vat of mud. That’s because… it did.

Queue the Pokédex entry:

In ancient times, Wooper lived underwater in the Paldea region. After losing in a struggle for territory, it seems they began living in bogs on land. To keep from drying out while living on land, they began to cover their bodies with a poisonous film. Their gills have hardened thanks to living on land for so long. Their bodies are heavy and they move slowly, but they can protect themselves by shooting powerful poisonous liquid from their gills.

So, now Wooper is a poison/ground type, as opposed to water/ground. At least now it won’t get completely obliterated by grass attacks, but… at what cost? A “struggle for territory”? Is Wooper okay?

Image Credits: The Pokémon Company

Oh, also, apparently the legendary Pokémon Koraidon and Miraidon can turn into motorcycles and airplanes. Sure, I guess.